Monday, July 1, 2013

Movie Review : After Earth, The Heat, Disconnect & Conjuring

syigim at the movies! I’m reviewing father-son sci-fi movie ‘after earth’, action-comedy ‘the heat’ about two female cops who are impossible to work with; the IT drama ‘disconnect’ and a horror movie ‘conjuring’ that I watched after SO many people recommended it to me.

which reminds me of the time when my sisters and I were at masjid negara after my cousin yaya’s akad nikah, and my sister said, “tengok cerita ‘ikan jering’. takut gile citer tu.” and they went on and on and on about this awesome movie called ‘ikan jering’. and after awhile I was like “ni cerita melayu horror yang best gile ye?” and my sisters were like, huh? citer melayu apenye. and I asked for confirmation, “ye la tajuk dia ‘ikan jering’ kan?”

my sisters and bro-in-law were laughing like gile. “ape pulak ‘ikan jering’. CONJURING lah!”

ooOOoo. HAHAHA. so here we go.


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rotten tomatoes site described ‘after earth’ as “dull”. I describe it as ‘why will smith is so kayu in this?’

it’s 1000 years after humans vacate earth to live on another planet. otw to deliver an alien, spaceship crashes, everyone dies. they’re on a planet where “everything has evolved to kill humans” – planet earth. only daddy and son survive. daddy’s legs broken, beacon to call for help is broken. son needs to take a trip alone in a dangerous jungle in search of broken parts of plane to find the other working beacon. daddy and son communicate through thingamajig on wrist.

seriously, the movie really starts here for me because I don’t understand anything that happens before the crash. haha.

to me the storyline is promising BUT I would enjoy it more if will smith hadn’t gotten stuck simply sitting down speaking like a heartless robot throughout the entire movie. I cringe with boredom! I love will smith, so I want some action from will and jayden together! (only denzel washington can get away with laying down throughout an entire movie and still deliver an oscar-worthy performance – in ‘bone collector’ with angelina jolie).

also it’s not LOGICAL to describe this ‘quarantined planet earth’ as having “everything that has evolved to kill humans”. hello? you don’t have to wait 1000 years to have creatures that kill humans – we already have them now! and don’t say the word ‘evolved’ when the creatures that attacked jayden through his ‘adventure’ are simply angry baboons, poisonous leech, a giant eagle and finally a huge cockroach-like creature that can camouflage itself AND smell fear. ooh. aah. probably rejects from men in black 2.

cammon, man it’s a sci-fi movie! be more imaginative with the ‘evolved creatures’. the writers should sit down and watch ‘avatar’ as homework.

jayden’s one-type facial expression does not help, no matter how adorable he is. he has his moments though, especially that passionate speech he made right before he jumped over the edge into the abyss. at least make the ending equally dramatic and passionate between father and son. nope. still the same robotic duo. hoping to see jaden smith in a romantic comedy next.



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I LOVE these two cuckoo heads. sandra bullock is so likeable in anything she’s in, while melissa mccarthy is just SO funny in ‘bridesmaids’. having them together in a movie is something I’d be happy to watch.

‘the heat’ is about two female cops who are impossible to work with – one, because she’s so uptight and a control freak; while the other one is loud, obnoxious, spewing vulgar words every few minutes. put them together, and you have chaos with all kinds of funny.

the plot is cliché – pairing up of opposite characters in police force is so common. classic ‘lethal weapon’ (white cop-black cop), ‘rush hour’ (uptight chinese cop-loud black cop), ‘showtime’ (angry white cop, goofy wannabe black cop) ‘the x-files (believer male fbi agent-skeptic lady fbi agent) so it only works if the two opposite characters somehow gel together to make an enjoyable movie.

'‘the heat’ works because both have such great comedic timing. the way they deliver their lines are so funny – sandra bullock and melissa mccarthy have awesome chemistry. they could be mumbling in arguments with each other and it’s still fun to watch. check this out if you want some laughs over the weekend.



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we’re living in a time where even divorces can be stated through sms, a few-minutes argument on hp video can go viral all over the country within hours, stories travel fast, affects more people, reaching more people, within less and less time. it’s only a matter of time that a movie is made, focusing on this.

‘disconnect’ is a collection of stories – a grieving mother sought comfort from a chatroom stranger. stranger steals credit card information thru the net. fake facebook accounts. lonely teenager on a brink of suicide after being bullied online. teenage sex-trade internet site.

each story is well-written and engaging. though there are many more internet related stories to be told (there could be ‘disconnect 2’ movie – sex videos by teens that went viral, facebook vacation photos by cheating spouses, celebrity reply fans’ tweets or death threat to a food-blogger who wrote critical reviews) but the movie focused on two of the more important issues when it comes to accessibility on the net : how easy strangers can get our personal information, and that online bully is real, and what it can lead to.

‘disconnect’ is also relatable because we all use the net. most of us have e-mail account, sometimes more than one. we are on facebook 24-7. we tweet. we tumblr. we blog. it could happen to YOU, or your loved ones. exercise caution; for the challenges are real, and out there. in the infinite world wide web.

“everything you do, someone out there can see.” ~ quote from ‘disconnect’.



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haha. ikan jering. conjuring. still laughing at that.

anywaaaaaay, my sisters say that ‘conjuring’ is so incredibly scary that I need to think twice before watching it. err hello? me, who has more than 30 horror books in her collection, read hundreds of horror stories, and a fan of stephen king? nothing scares me! hahaha---

ok seriously, it’s pretty scary. the story is pretty cliché, but nicely done. you’ve got a haunted house, a happy family who just moved in, a couple of ghost-hunters, some fancy shmancy ghost-detecting equipment that gives the movie a sort of documentary feel, and finally exorcism.

the actress playing the mother ‘lily taylor’ has played this kind of character before in ‘the haunting’. that movie was a flop, but she was great in it. she has this soft-spoken, confused, bewildered character that gives life to the whole plot of ‘conjuring’.

you’ve got to watch other awesome horror movies like ‘shelter’, ‘possession’ or ‘the awakening’ that are not only scary, but have interestingly engaging plot. if you think ‘conjuring’ is scary, you’ve got to watch the others!

I now understand why it’s most scary to watch when you’re sleeping alone – we all can relate to the legs-being-pulled scene. as kids we may never experienced actually being pulled from our beds, but don’t deny that we certainly are kinda scared if our legs or feet dangled out of bed or out of our safety blanket…

the hide-and-clap scenes were good too. seram siot. it’s like hide and go seek but instead of just hide and then look, you can ask the person hiding to clap so that you can hear where they are. imagine somebody else is clapping for you to find them….

oh, wait. what’s with the doll? I don’t get it.



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babies laughter are cute arent’ they? unless it’s 3 am. and you’re alone. and you don’t have a baby.

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