congratulations my young padawan. today, 1st april 2011, you have officially completed your 12-month mission on planet earth. from the moment you landed in dubai at 1.30pm on that 1st april, i know that the force is strong in you. i see that you have mastered the art of walking on two feet, and knowing that the cockroach trap under the kitchen cabinet is NOT a toy.
enjoy this day, for tomorrow, a new mission begins.
your mission, should you choose to accept, is to learn the primitive language of these earthlings in the next 365 days. they’re far backwards in technology and linguistic capability, so use sign language first. try to be patient with them. be careful not to let them understand our baby talk, so you must learn their language.
try to spill food, leave lego blocks all over the floor and slobber on their precious items (camera, xbox controller or notebook) every once in a while to experiment on their reactions and counter measures.
if there is anything in order – like a neatly stacked folded clothes, or books on the shelves arranged alphabetically or pillows on the bed placed according to color – your mission is to MESS them up, and THEN put on an innocent face. this is to ascertain their level of patience, the capability of anger as compared to the power of love.
this interesting commander in chief called Bapak seemed to be the head of the House, and yet most decisions in the House where you are stationed, are made by the home minister called Mak. you must comprehend this perplexing reversal of role and report back to me.
agent khaleef and agent kahfi are both experienced agents who had been on countless successful missions, especially agent kahfi who had been driving Bapak and Mak nuts. that’s the kind of agent we want! you may seek them for guidance and help.
remember, should you be caught, we will deny any knowledge of this mission.
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